Friday afternoon I was on the phone with my Doctors office waiting to hear the results of a test. It wasn’t a test for cancer or an STD, but it was still a test with a certain amount of fear attached to it. I am waiting on hold for five minuets before it hits me, where is the music? If ever there was a time for music, this is it. No one wants to be alone with thoughts racing around their head as they wait for medical news. At the very least play some Phil Collins. That guy can really use the royalty payments now anyway.

Turns out I am OK. I should eat better and blah blah blah.

For two dollars I saw a new product. It is a plastic thing that hooks onto your belt and can hold a regular size bottle of water at your side. Think of it as an aqua fanny pack. Some see this and think it’s a great idea. People need to drink more water. I see it and think cars should come equipped with cup holders. Not people.

Saturday night I drove to Yuba City, CA. Ever been? There is no easy way to get there. You leave the well-traveled familiar Interstate 80 for tiny 113. Then you twist and wind your way across fields and through peach orchards until you reach the Bowling alley where the gig is held. I did this gig once before. I don’t know that I need to do it again. This room is what I like to call a knife fight. The crowd is almost pre-wired to yell shit. That and they were treated to some decidedly lowbrow stuff long before I got a hold of them. It is a Bowling alley though and quality of content is not something I think they are that concerned with. By the time I got on stage to close it out, they were drunk, loud and stupid. Imagine that? A bowling alley comedy audience in the central valley wasn’t so smart. I spent forty bucks in gas and two hours driving to wait three hours and four comics to do 40 minuets in front of a crowd I probably don’t see eye to eye on anything with. Was this a good use of my time? Probably not. Such is the life of a comic. I have been doing more road stuff again lately because I missed it. I think that phase is over for now. Time to take a shot at the next elusive level again.

Sunday I watched a friend get married. I smiled a lot and thought the whole thing was beautiful in a way I am not use to feeling. Then I felt depressed as shit and thought about my brief time in L.A. The friend who got married has a baby and a job as an apartment manager now. Comedy is still on the list of things he does, but it’s part of a list now.

I have been looking for an agent and manager lately. Enough fucking around in the trenches with the little stuff. I kept looking at everyone at the wedding and realized that out of everyone there I am still single and still gigging as hard as ever. The grass is always greener right? They must think I have all this freedom while I think they have people to go home to that love them.

This weekend was a wonderful demonstration in what if and what didn't happen. What if I had found a way to stay in L.A. instead of returning here? What if things had gone well and I got married? What if? Well, this is what I got. More friends are getting married and each time we get together in a group it seems as though more kids are running around. That kind of shit makes you wonder about life. Have I built anything of value? What is the quality of my life? What do I want and what is important to have? None of these are easily answered questions. The best you can do is show up, kiss the bride and eat the cake that is offered. Such is life. Such is my life.