Friday, December 12, 2008

While its still mildly funny=)

The auto bailout didn't pass Congress because the Republicans acting against Bush dug their heals in and said no bailout unless the unions cut their wages. The Unions, who are now being made out to be the bad guys in all this said, fuck you! What sort of an economic recovery package asks people struggling to support families to work for less? The CEO of Ford has announced his salary for next year will be $1.00. Your telling me that if we cut all the senior management pay by 10% across the board that wouldn't make a difference? Why is it the people at the bottom are always asked to do with less when it was the people at the very top who did this to the country in the first place?

Meanwhile, the under reported news might as well be called; the death of the Republican party.
Joe the Plumber, moron and self righteous political prop that he is recently said in an interview that he was ..."appalled..." at John McCain for his answers to him about the Bank Bailout. He said he wanted to leave the campaign bus after seeing some of the tricks of the trade on the campaign. In fact he said it made him feel dirty. Way to go Joe! Just as I think we agree on something he proves what a complete idiot he is by saying he voted for McCain because he was more scared of Obama as the President and he thought Sara Palin was, "...the real deal!"
This is a guy who lied about everything!
How much money he makes.
His name.
The fact that he is not a licensed plumber.
He hasn't paid taxes on his property.
Shit, if this guy gets convicted of a crime he is eligible to become a Senator I think.
Why is anyone still listening to this jerk?

Colin Powell, on a Sunday morning interview show said the Republican party needs to "stop shouting at the rest of the world and start listening." He also said we should stop listening to Rush because basically, he is an idiot!

But all that is nothing compared with this little gem. In an interview George Bush said he doesn't believe the Bible is literal.
I guess he is no longer a Born again then.
When did this little conversion happen? Maybe Bush doesn't think there is a God anymore. After all, this was the dude who basically told the American people that God told him to invade Iraq and that he would find Weapons of Mass Destruction there. Looks like either God lied, Bush didn't hear right or you reach the inevitable conclusion that whatever God Bush believes in doesn't exist.
Merry Christmas everyone! Lets all try and enjoy the death of western civilization while its all still mildly funny=)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Wheres the money?

Just so were clear on all this let me see if I have it down.

The banking industry, suffering from a crisis of their own making, has been handed over a Trillion dollars so far. I don’t know if your paying attention, but every time the news refers to the Wall Street Bailout, they call it the 700 Billion dollar bailout. Well, that’s just bullshit. On the news each night for the last few months you hear that the government handed an additional 20 Billion to this company and 5 Billion to another one, but no one seems to be keeping track of how much has really gone out or where it is going.
Don’t take my word for it. The office of accountability just reported that so far, 150 Billion dollars couldn’t be accounted for.
Can’t be accounted for?
What the hell does that mean? It means it’s gone. Just like the Billions of dollars in cash that was shipped to Iraq, it’s just gone.

Meanwhile, the one industry that does make something in America can’t get a loan for 15 billion dollars.
Amazed yet?
Did you know the Treasury Secretary was the CEO of one of the banking companies that made this mess right before he was the Treasury Secretary? Did you know that legally we cannot ask where the money went or for what purpose it was used? Did you know that they told us it would be for distressed mortgages but right after we handed it to the Treasury Secretary he said, were not going to spend it on that?

The American Tax Payer just got fucked for more than 1 Trillion Dollars and the Government asked for nothing in writing. Nothing! We bought stock in banks whose stock has only continued to fall. Great! People are still loosing their homes but I guess they can take comfort in knowing that their new forced investment is tanking.
We could bailout the car industry 20 times over with what has already been stolen in bailing out the Billionaires! Sure, Detroit painted themselves into a corner by continuing to make over priced gas guzzling vehicles with low MPG, but if they go that’s it for whatever middle class, blue-collar families are left.

Have the oil companies’ loan the car companies the money needed. You can’t have one business without the other. The oil companies keep posting record profits so we know they have the money. Make them help.

Or, have the government announce that the first American company to make a quality car that gets 100MPG will get a few billion and some juicy tax breaks.

I wish someone with balls would stand up and asked what the hell is going on. What happened? Near as I can tell were getting fucked like six different ways all at once on this “deal!”

Socialism finally showed up in America, but it’s Socialism for the banking companies that so far have made the 1% of the wealthiest 1% even more dirty stinking rich while the average person in the other 99% are going broke. And please, don’t tell me people who couldn’t afford houses shouldn’t have bought them in the first place. You had the President giving speech after speech about the ownership society he wanted to create by getting low income and poor families into houses by reducing the regulations on the banks. The banks spent billions selling the American dream to anyone with a TV or a web site or a mailbox. Everyone was told they could own a home. Everyone! Now it’s the homeowners’ fault for believing the bullshit the banker who went through the paper work with them? I don’t think so.

Monday, December 08, 2008

The Worse Comic

Comedy is subjective.
When asked if his language was offensive, Eddy Murphy once famously replied, "If a stadium full of people are laughing then it's not in bad taste."
Thats why its never exactly fair to call someone's act bad. I might not think it is funny, but a packed room in a comedy club that is laughing their asses off might disagree with me.
Arie Spears is bad comedy even if his Mad TV fans were laughing. In fact, it is hard to know who to be more angry with; Arie Spears or the crowds that laughed at his shit. Every comic doesn't have to be a genius or even have jokes that are amazing. But using shit that you didn't write that appeals to nothing but the lowest common denominator is beyond cheap.
Heres the thing, you don't have to use your stand-up to teach, but you certainly don't have to maintain every ignorant stereotype about groups of different people either. A lot of bad stand-up does just this. This dude was the worse Headliner I have worked with in a long time.
He opened his set each night with one of the oldest, been done by a thousand other comics a hundred times, hacky setup's; "White people laugh differently than black people."
He then tells the crowd that we are all a little racist. That too much bad history has occurred in America for it to ever end. Maybe. Thats a pretty defeatist attitude. Besides, we just voted a black guy into office as the President. I think there has been some progress. But none of that sets the mood for his act. An act where he says, I can't see the black people in back. Smile.
Give me a break.
I hate it when a comic dresses up old jokes in social commentary or some heart felt emotional plea only to follow it with the same old bad punch lines you have heard before.
At one point he tells us that when white people watch the news and see black people doing crazy shit we don't say, oh African-Americans. No! According to Arie, when white people see black people doing crazy shit on the news we say, those dumb niggers!
When you look at the crowd you can see who is laughing loudest at this blanket statement.
Its white guys who do say this.
They give each other a slap on the back or a quick high five and trade knowing looks. Arie has to know that this type of joke is cheap. His contract states that no other black comics should be Booked on the bill with him. God forbid another African-American comic would do similar stuff or even go the other direction by making fun of this lingering racism in polite society. Aries act gives the crowd permission to keep being dumb. He never challenges the crowd to look beyond the simple black and white differences we have.
A lot of bad history might have happened here but perpetuating it with bad jokes that tell people its OK to be racist isn't going to help.
In Aries world, all Mexicans are all illegal. Women are bitches and gays are immoral. Yup. That last one is particularly interesting. He tells the crowd that he knows he is in San Francisco, but to him this town is just one giant male shower in a prison. The last time he was here he dropped $200 bucks on the ground but was too afraid to bend over and pick it up.
Not only are these jokes really old and extremely hacky, but he uses this as a set up to explain to the crowd exactly how he feels about homosexuality. He thinks it's wrong. The reason he thinks its wrong is that he has too much respect for women. Right after that he does a joke where he says, why does it take you bitches so long to cum?
Yeah, that sounds pretty respectful.
Comedy is subjective.
What one person thinks of as funny another might be offended. Between using old jokes that I have heard from many many other comics and premises that rely on ignorance for them to work, he has to be one of the worse comics I have ever worked with.
Not a single thing coming out of his mouth was his, intelligent or unique in anyway. He is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with stand-up. He can put butts in seats because he has a degree of fame but he is NOT a stand-up. He is a TV performer doing this to make money and could care less about quality or art.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Hello Friends, Fans and Stalkers!
I am in a contest for some cash. You tell your favorite street joke and people vote on them. To help me make a little money all you have to do is go to
Then, click on my joke, Last Supper and vote for me!