Thursday, April 17, 2008


Dear regular blog readers,
Thanks. Thanks for reading my trials and tribulations and occasionally leaving a comment or two. I feel a another wave of writers block coming on though. Think of it as a writers strike going on in my soul. Hopefully, regular broadcasting will return shortly.
Thanks and may the force be with you=)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Thanks and Please

Thanks to those who came out to the Club Deluxe this weekend and watched me crack open the notebook in an attempt to try new stuff out and breathe life into old road stories. I think the club deluxe is my new favorite little room. It is the way SF comedy use to be. A great space with a cool crowd to perform in front of.
The Onion add will be appearing this weekend again and next weekend all to see if San Francisco will support it's stand-up comics.
Next weekend I, along with Comedy Against Evil creator-Jeff Kreisler,
will be at the Purple Onion.
If you like Punch Lines with your politics, this is a great show!
Comedy Against Evil

This Friday I return once more to the Clubhouse. One of the best small independent rooms in the city! No lie.
The Clubhouse, San Francisco

And of course, April 29th & 30th, I am headlining at the Punch Line.
Punch Line, San Francisco

Elitist Attitude.

Hilary, former first lady and international sniper dodger, called Barack Obama an elitist yesterday.
When your income since leaving the White House is a reported $109 Million, throwing the word elitist at someone just doesn't ring true. I don't know how many people are on staff at the White House, but it is a staff. Once you have enjoyed living in a home with a staff, I don't think you can call someone an elitist.
John McCain quickly jumped on board to agree. Hilary, if the conservative opponent agrees with something you have said about Obama, you might want to consider that your wrong about this.
McCain's wife, Cindy, was asked for the traditional Cookie recipe that all potential first ladies are asked to give. Years ago when Bill Clinton was running and they asked Hilary, it was something of a minor media stir when she replied, I have better things to do than stay home and bake cookies. I agreed with her then.
Cindy McCain went a step further though. On the McCain website, she posted their family recipes. A woman kept looking at them thinking she had seen them some where before. Yup, Cindy McCain had plagiarized them word for word from the Food Network.
Ahi tuna with Napa cabbage slaw, farfalle pasta with turkey sausage, peas and mushrooms and perhaps some passionfruit mousse for dessert.
You know, simple un-elitist like meals for down to earth folk like you and me. I can't tell you how much we all enjoyed passionfruit mousse for dessert when I was a kid growing up poor.
The McCain staff said it was an error done by an unpaid intern.
I am confused. Did Cindy loose her list of recipes, or are we to understand that an unpaid intern is the one cooking meals at the McCain family home.
In all honesty, the three of them are elitist. America has 300 million people. To step forward and say, I think I am the best person in this country to run things, you have to have something of a elitist attitude.

Monday, April 14, 2008

I spent the weekend in almost complete silence at a cabin by myself. No TV, Cellphone or Internet.
I hiked in the mornings, built a fire and read at night. What was my big realization that I came back with, Brittney Spears didn't go crazy until after Madonna kissed her.
That's how you take out the competition.
Look out Hanna Montana!

Dear Hybrid Drivers

Dear Hybrid Drivers,
I know you are better than me, but until we all have crystals hanging from our recycled rear view mirrors to pick up your intentions through the universe, please continue to use the environmentally friendly turn signal to not pollute my Karma. How can we all get along when most of you seem to think that merging is a spiritual process rather than one that requires letting other drivers know what is about to happen at the off ramp? I know, live in the now! Merging is not your right or something that should just happen peacefully. Most of you believe in Darwin, well merging is survival of the fastest. Yeah. It's not fair and not right, but until we can all afford to drive a hybrid that comes equipped with a sense of superiority, please cut the rest of liberals stuck in run down old cars a little slack and follow the same rules. Please? Besides, the rubber in your tires, the plastic light's, most of the cars interior is all fashioned from plastic. Plastic; a petroleum based product if I am not mistaking. I know, you should have your own parking spaces because you care more than I do. Hey, you don't think I wouldn't like a shiny brand new I am better than you on four wheels mobile? Hell Yeah I would! The one thing my car has going for it is it's free anti-theft capabilities. What a club does for $20.00, three hub caps and month old bird shit does for free. I leave some 8-tracks out on the passenger seat and no one touches it.
I see the looks when I pass you. The condescending, how can you drive that Dinosaur, looks. Maybe I am on my way to a tree sit in. Maybe I am rushing to the recyclers before they close with post consumer waste I have been mulching in the back seat for six months. Maybe I am tired of going 60MPH in the second lane from the right wondering why your break lights come on mysteriously for no apparent reason.
I care about the planet. I won't get negative. I prefer to see your car as half full. Half full of gas just like mine is most of the time.