Saturday, April 18, 2009
With Americas first African-American President in the White House, the governor of Texas is now seriously talking about seceding from the rest of the country over what he calls the federal governments oppressive reach. Thats how he refers to the stimulus money.
This might be the clearest example of the difference between conservative thought and liberal thought. When the liberals are out of power they write blogs. If they are feeling really naughty they might have some meat instead of that veggie burger they normally get.
Three months out of power and the conservatives want to leave the country!
That would make them something they have been calling liberals for a long time now: Un-American!
Let them go.
This is the same action as an immature kid loosing his fifth game of checkers in a row. They basically want to flip the board over. Only the board is the country and its not a game.
Come on Texas. If you got real about this situation you would see that Texas needs America a lot more than America needs Texas.
This what Texas offers. More wool comes from Texas than any other state in the union. So we lose them. So what? What do we really lose, sweaters, ignorance and Chuck Norris?
Texas ranks #49 in verbal SAT scores and #46 in average math SAT scores.
That means if you wanted to confuse a Texan a sentence like this might do it:
If you're making less than 250,000 a year how much are your taxes going down under Obama?
I think I am starting to see the problem.
When Bush was governor of Texas they were 49th in education.
That means they could beat Mississippi, they just couldn't spell it.
Hell, let the entire south go if they want. Don't let the Mason Dixon line hit you on your ass on the way out.
Glen Beck. Know the guy? He is the next generation Bill O'reilly and one of the chief architects of the tea bagging movement. I might be wrong about this but if one of the guys talking about your movement works on TV where he talks for a living, I don't think you can claim your movement is grass roots.
On Tax day, Glen Beck held a rally in Texas at the Alamo. If you know your history then you know the reason why Davy Croket was fighting the Mexican army. Mexico had outlawed slavery and the good people of the nation of Texas were fighting to keep slavery legal.
Texas lost the battle of the Alamo, but when you think about the current condition of Mexicans working for slave wages across America in jobs you or I wouldn't do, you might think Texas won the war.
Odd place to announce you are a "real American with old fashioned American values..." cause I gotta tell you, the kind of old fashioned American values a place like the Alamo represents is the reason we passed the 13th Amendment,
abolishing slavery in the United States. I'm just saying if you want to reboot a revolution you might want to choose a better backdrop for it than a fort that was defended by red necks who were fighting to keep humans like animals for labor.
The NSA announced that it reviewed the current program of wire taping communications in the United States. The NSA said it "over collected" information and had a hard time distinguishing between domestic and international communication.
Over collected? What a polite way to say you eavesdropped on everyone. Do you know that right now the Justice Department affirms its right to go into a citizens home, search their computer and personal papers and never tell you they were there! The United States government says it can go through my stuff and not tell me?
I don't remember dating the government.
Also, its pretty clear on my bill what is a domestic call and an international call. If these guys couldn't even figure that out why would we think they could interpret terrorists plots talked about in code over the Internet?
But here is the real kicker.
It also found evidence that the NSA attempted to wire tap a member of Congress. This is the NSA saying this in their own public report. This isn't some urban myth being passed around by bloggers strung out on red bull this is your government admitting that it not only spied on U.S. Citizens but it actually made an attempt to bug a member of congress.
People sometimes tell me I swear too much on stage. If you're watching the news and not swearing with a few choice expletives when you hear stuff like this, then you just don't get it.
This is bad people! This is really bad. I know, its depressing and stunningly unfunny so here is a dirty joke to take your mind off of it before we get into more hard to hear truths.
I told my brother something he had never heard before apparently, because he said, "New wrinkle."
I asked, "What does new wrinkle mean?"
He said "Every time you learn something new your brain gets a new wrinkle."
"Oh. I guess that makes my testicles a genius then."
Thats how I will get you to pay attention. I will tell you something you should know and then follow that bitter truth with a bipartisan dirty joke.
Obama released four memos from the justice department written at the request of the Bush White House on the subject of enhanced interrogation techniques. They are little more than disgusting verbal games written in legal prose to not say the word torture. Its clear that the authors, one of whom is now a sitting federal judge, knew they were being asked to invent law to make torture appear legal.
OK. Thats pretty scary stuff too. Here is another dirty joke.
My brother told me his girlfriend had tricked him into getting pregnant. How is that possible? You're a grown man. What did she do, cover her vagina with leaves and you tripped and fell in?
Then he asked, "Thats how women get pregnant?"
he said "New wrinkle."
Obama has said they will not prosecute anyone at the CIA who participated in these types of "enhanced" interrogations. We have to move forward not look backward. This is the Obama doctrine. As much as I believe in what the man has come to represent I think almost everyone can agree that a blanket forgiveness without even a formal confession of wrong doing is premature.
You might not have to go after the people who were "only following orders" but shouldn't we go after the people who gave those orders?
I think we should.
No dick joke here folks. There isn't one powerful enough.
The fact is were suppose to be the good guys. The ones who don't put aside their values even when it seems we would gain by doing so. People say, thats naive. America has to live in "the real world."
America was founded on the idea to change the real world. But there right. America doesn't live in the real world. It exists in a better world. Torture has no place here. Thats why we have laws against it. Thats why we don't recognize a king or allow our rulers to abuse religious belief to control people. Right?
We are a nation of laws not a nation of what ever those in charge want to do. The truly scary thing is that all the enhanced powers the Bush administration gave itself have not ben given back yet by Obama. One of the oldest laws of man states very clearly, power given is rarely returned. If we are willing to set aside the values that make us better than the terrorists this time, what will we set aside next time?
I just hope that someday I won't be talking to a 20 year old kid and after I tell him what freedom is, hear him reply, "new wrinkle."
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Here is the non-story everyone will be talking about this weekend. On Jamie Foxx’s satellite radio show, he recommended that Miley Cyrus make a sex tape. Lets not feel too bad for the 16-year-old millionaire. She is the new Olsen twins. In fact, since Miley has arrived on the scene you don’t see them too much anymore. I think the Olsen twins were somehow combined into one bratty child star known as, Miley Cyrus.
I can’t feel sorry for her in the least. She is living every 16-year-old girls dream. Her Dad works for her, she is star and she has a 20-year-old Italian underwear model as her boyfriend. By the way, why are people getting worked up over Jamie Foxx’s comment? I thought statutory rape was a little more important than talking about what is only a matter of time.
Between pirate attacks and tea party protests over taxes I am wondering if we are repeating the 1700’s again? I hope not. There is no way I am going to start wearing a powdered wig.
I have a question. When do the pirates get their own reality show? Each week you can watch as they take a ship. Who wouldn’t watch that?
I have to admit. I feel a little sorry for Mr. Bush. I don’t know if he has been watching the news lately but if he is you know he is sitting there going “My first test with the military was 9/11 and Obama gets pirates? Unfair!”
If ever there was a guy who wanted to fight pirates, it was Bush. If it had happened during his administration you would of seen press conferences where Bush tells the America public that Johnny Deep is living somewhere in France so we are going to invade to Iraq.
The tea baggers! I love the fact that apparently no one on the right thought to Google tea bagging before they pronounced themselves proud tea baggers. And what was the protest all about?
Paying too much in taxes.
It doesn’t exactly ring true when 95% of the people in this country are getting a decrease in taxes and the other 5% who are lucky enough to be among the wealthiest humans on the planet will get a 3% increase or what it was under Bill Clinton.
I saw some of the protests yesterday. I saw people with signs take public buses to public parks. I saw police officers directing traffic and doing security. I saw elected officials giving speeches trying to talk over work crews repairing public streets. In other words, all things taxes pay for. Now I know, no one likes the idea of taxes and I think the protest was more about the bail out of banks than anything else. Everyone hates the idea of handing billions of dollars to the people who screwed us all over but I also understand you can’t just let the entire system collapse before you do something about it. Do you know what you get if you do?
Why do you think Somalia has a pirate problem in the first place? They have no government, no public services and the means to collect taxes for those public services. So what did they turn to?
Pirates and tea bagging, folks. Sounds like a normal weekend in the Castro.
Tea bag all you want folks but the truth of the matter is Americans pay less in taxes than most of Europe. While we bitched about gas going up to five bucks a gallon last year, England was paying twelve bucks. Still are too. I also find it hysterical that most of the nut jobs on the right (FOX) defended the AIG bonuses. So I’m confused. The bail outs of the banks to maintain the level of society we have come to rely on was wrong but the million dollar bonuses paid with bail out money to the people who fucked the economy up was right?
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t keep screaming that Obama wants to change our way of life when our way of life was what got us all into this mess. You can’t be against the bail out but for executives getting their bonuses because, “that’s how capitalism works!”
I can’t think of a better example than this for why it might be time to take a very close and very long look at our finical system and change a few things.
Have you ever heard the term, Paradox of thrift? It’s the term given to this situation: As the economy goes down people start to save more and spend less. As they spend less, the economy goes down even more. What is good for the individual is bad for the system as a whole.
If we live inside a system where saving is bad for the system then the system might be the problem. Not people saving. The system we live in now depends upon it growing constantly. Our economy is like a shark. If it stops moving it dies.
That’s crazy too!
The only other model I can find that is similar to how our economy works is cancer. Cancer, you may know, is the sudden and unknown growth of cells in the body. Eventually, you die from it. And if you don’t die that means you survived one of the toughest treatments there is in medicine, chemotherapy.
I say it is time to apply chemotherapy to the economy. Don’t take my word on it. Check out this quote from a dude you may know.
Thomas Jefferson -"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issuance of their currency, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
She wasn't kidding.