Thursday, August 14, 2008
Eva 4eva!
http://view.break.com/549769 - Watch more free videos
Well I don't get it. This is the commercial that has been banned by every American network. This is what we think shouldn't be on TV? If we are so worried about kids getting the wrong messages from TV, what does it say about our society when a hot chick's body is deemed inappropriate but Bush can hold a press conference where no one calls him on the lies that fly from his mouth? Maybe if we were a bit more comfortable with sex and treated violence like we now treat sex, we would be a healthy happy culture instead of the confused people we are.
Just a thought.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Black Guys for McCain?
A friend sent me a link to a blog named, black men for McCain. Check it out. Read some of it. How could a black guy be for McCain? I don't know if he knows this, but McCain voted against giving Martin Luther King a Holiday in Arizona. How bad do you have to hate a guy to vote against a day off? McCain is also in favor of what are the Bush Tax Cuts. It's a nice phrase but don't be fooled. The Tax Cuts were only for the richest 1% of Americas richest 1%. Way to go!
How many black males in America are in that category exactly?
A black guy voting for McCain makes as much sense as a black guy voting for McCain. Seriously. What is McCain going to do for the average anyone in this country let alone a black guy? Voting against a holiday for King is about the only thing McCain hasn't flipped flopped on.
He was against off shore drilling. Now he is for it.
He was against the Bush tax cuts because he knew what they really were.
Now he is for them.
He is against gay marriage because he believes marriage is a sacred thing between a man and his wife. Hard to tell if he thinks his previous marriage was sacred. He left his first wife after she was crippled in a car accident. Yeah. You wouldn't want gays messing up an institution like that. They might stay together and adopted the kids straight people are producing with no thought. Dear God!
Now if he hates gay people that much what do you honestly think he thinks about black people?
The guy voted against a MLK holiday!
How many black males in America are in that category exactly?
A black guy voting for McCain makes as much sense as a black guy voting for McCain. Seriously. What is McCain going to do for the average anyone in this country let alone a black guy? Voting against a holiday for King is about the only thing McCain hasn't flipped flopped on.
He was against off shore drilling. Now he is for it.
He was against the Bush tax cuts because he knew what they really were.
Now he is for them.
He is against gay marriage because he believes marriage is a sacred thing between a man and his wife. Hard to tell if he thinks his previous marriage was sacred. He left his first wife after she was crippled in a car accident. Yeah. You wouldn't want gays messing up an institution like that. They might stay together and adopted the kids straight people are producing with no thought. Dear God!
Now if he hates gay people that much what do you honestly think he thinks about black people?
The guy voted against a MLK holiday!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Jock
Rarely do I get an answer from the crowd that confounds me. Being a comic that works the crowd you are sorta like a lawyer; don't ask any question you don't think you already know the answer to. This is not always the case of course, but most of the time I am not too surprised by an answer.
Allow me to set the scene. This is a college/private gig. I say partly private because the entire audience was composed of 40 incoming Freshmen from all over the planet. We were in a tiny room that was 20 degrees warmer than just outside the door. The average age was 18. Do you remember being 18? Remember that look you had? No? It is something in your eyes and your body language. I can now identify it as not giving a shit. Did I mention this event was mandatory for them?
Let's revue- 40 kids in a hot room for a mandatory event staring me.
Got it now?
I had never heard of this tiny college somewhere down the peninsula. But it's there. These kids parents were rich enough to send them across the world but not rich enough to get them into the Ivy league schools. But they still exhaled a sense of entitlement.
About half way through the show, I ask a "jock" what he is going to school for.
"Play football." He says.
"Oh. Do you want to play professionally someday?"
"No. I want to get into politics."
That's the answer that had me thrown.
I think a good tackle might make debates a bit more interesting but other than that I don't know how one does anything for the other.
When I tell him this he replies, "It worked for Bush."
OK. That's the reply that got me.
First of all, this kid is 18. Who they hell idolizes Bush enough to follow his lead? Who models their academic career after Bush?
Hasn't he fucked up? A lot?
By the way. When he attended the all boy's school of Andover, he was actually a cheerleader. Google it. I'll wait. Hopefully you get to see the photo of him looking every bit the douche he is holding a megaphone as he readies himself to cheer.
There turned out to be more than a few kids who proudly called themselves conservative.
I don't get that. It's college. I never went but from what I can gather college is suppose to be all about getting laid, high and occasionally staring at a Lava lamp under the influence of Mushrooms communing with God. You don't walk in saying. I am opposed to joy! Not at 18 you don't. Course, I am getting all my info on what college is from movies.
At some point I say to the crowd that Obama scares the shit out of vast swaths of the country because he's black. In one of the most unintentionally hilarious moments I have witnessed in a long time, my statement on Obama was met with a very enthusiastic head nod in agreement from the Jock.
What were the odds a rich white kid named Kyle, was going to be scared of black people?
Welcome to California kid. I would love to see where your head is at in four years.
What caught my eye at first was his gum chewing. He was smacking away on it like it held the antidote to boredom. No matter what I said or implied, he sat there calmly chewing his gum with the erie confidence of the dim. Maybe he has more in common with Bush than I thought.
Good luck=)
Allow me to set the scene. This is a college/private gig. I say partly private because the entire audience was composed of 40 incoming Freshmen from all over the planet. We were in a tiny room that was 20 degrees warmer than just outside the door. The average age was 18. Do you remember being 18? Remember that look you had? No? It is something in your eyes and your body language. I can now identify it as not giving a shit. Did I mention this event was mandatory for them?
Let's revue- 40 kids in a hot room for a mandatory event staring me.
Got it now?
I had never heard of this tiny college somewhere down the peninsula. But it's there. These kids parents were rich enough to send them across the world but not rich enough to get them into the Ivy league schools. But they still exhaled a sense of entitlement.
About half way through the show, I ask a "jock" what he is going to school for.
"Play football." He says.
"Oh. Do you want to play professionally someday?"
"No. I want to get into politics."
That's the answer that had me thrown.
I think a good tackle might make debates a bit more interesting but other than that I don't know how one does anything for the other.
When I tell him this he replies, "It worked for Bush."
OK. That's the reply that got me.
First of all, this kid is 18. Who they hell idolizes Bush enough to follow his lead? Who models their academic career after Bush?
Hasn't he fucked up? A lot?
By the way. When he attended the all boy's school of Andover, he was actually a cheerleader. Google it. I'll wait. Hopefully you get to see the photo of him looking every bit the douche he is holding a megaphone as he readies himself to cheer.
There turned out to be more than a few kids who proudly called themselves conservative.
I don't get that. It's college. I never went but from what I can gather college is suppose to be all about getting laid, high and occasionally staring at a Lava lamp under the influence of Mushrooms communing with God. You don't walk in saying. I am opposed to joy! Not at 18 you don't. Course, I am getting all my info on what college is from movies.
At some point I say to the crowd that Obama scares the shit out of vast swaths of the country because he's black. In one of the most unintentionally hilarious moments I have witnessed in a long time, my statement on Obama was met with a very enthusiastic head nod in agreement from the Jock.
What were the odds a rich white kid named Kyle, was going to be scared of black people?
Welcome to California kid. I would love to see where your head is at in four years.
What caught my eye at first was his gum chewing. He was smacking away on it like it held the antidote to boredom. No matter what I said or implied, he sat there calmly chewing his gum with the erie confidence of the dim. Maybe he has more in common with Bush than I thought.
Good luck=)
Mark David Chapman
John Lennon's killer, Mark David Chapman, was denied parole for the fifth time Tuesday.
The New York State Division of Parole issued a release saying Chapman's request was denied "Due to concern for the public safety and welfare."
Really? Public safety?
He stays in jail at this point because if he ever got out someone would shoot him.
What do you need to convince the parole board that he deserves to stay in prison?
A copy of the of the White Album should do it.
It's not like his life is so bad in jail. Check this out-
For the past 16 years he has received conjugal visits with his wife, Gloria. The visits are part of a state program called "family reunion" that allows inmates to spend up to 44 hours at a time with family members in a special setting.
That is more time than most people get all week with a wife or girlfriend!
The dude shot John Lennon and he still gets to get laid? What is prison for exactly?
He shot a Beatle by the way. John might forgive him and this is the first parole hearing that Yoko did not submit a letter against it but I think most people would be extremely pissed if the guy who shot John Lennon ever got out. Make him take guitar lessons. Tell him that when he can write a song like Across the Universe, then maybe we will talk about it. Better yet, let him out with a gun and a list of bands like Duran Duran and the Eagles. No more come back tours boy's!
The New York State Division of Parole issued a release saying Chapman's request was denied "Due to concern for the public safety and welfare."
Really? Public safety?
He stays in jail at this point because if he ever got out someone would shoot him.
What do you need to convince the parole board that he deserves to stay in prison?
A copy of the of the White Album should do it.
It's not like his life is so bad in jail. Check this out-
For the past 16 years he has received conjugal visits with his wife, Gloria. The visits are part of a state program called "family reunion" that allows inmates to spend up to 44 hours at a time with family members in a special setting.
That is more time than most people get all week with a wife or girlfriend!
The dude shot John Lennon and he still gets to get laid? What is prison for exactly?
He shot a Beatle by the way. John might forgive him and this is the first parole hearing that Yoko did not submit a letter against it but I think most people would be extremely pissed if the guy who shot John Lennon ever got out. Make him take guitar lessons. Tell him that when he can write a song like Across the Universe, then maybe we will talk about it. Better yet, let him out with a gun and a list of bands like Duran Duran and the Eagles. No more come back tours boy's!
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