I made fun of a blind guy in the crowd tonight.
I didn't know he was blind. Couldn't tell at all.
He's in the front row and is turned sideways in his chair so he's constantly looking off to the side. I comment on this by saying, "You haven't even made the commitment to the show to turn completely to the stage yet."
That's when he reaches down and picks up what looks like a grey magic wand.
I am thinking it is going to be some Harry Potter nut whose going to put a curse on me now.
He flicks it.
Like some Jedi Light Saber, it suddenly elongates in to a stick with a red-tipped end. It dawns on the crowd and me at the same moment.
I am making fun of a blind guy.
Why do you have to sit in the front row then?
Another comic asked a drunk woman from somewhere in the south why she would vote for Bush again.
She said, "Because I don't wanna speak Air-A-Bic."
Don't worry, you barely speak English.
At a political show I did a joke about being poor and eating Top Ramen. Afterward the other comics and I did a round table discussion. A woman asked me, when it comes to Ramen, do you prefer it as a soup or a pasta?
Good to see we were getting people to think.