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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Signs

There is a thin line between Web M.D. and a web site to create hypochondriacs. Do I really need to have that much information available to me? The commercial for Web M.D. ends with a guy saying, "I used web M.D. so much, I got carpel tunnel."
Is that the best way to sell your product? By saying it's used so much that it creates physical problems?
And oh my God that is stupid irony!
Your a medical web site and your injuring people? The only way you would get Carpel Tunnel is by constantly checking it. You know, like a hypochondriac!
Know other product could get away with this.
"I love to drive the new Prius so much that I feel asleep at the wheel and crashed."
Nice, ha?

Alright, it is easy to make fun of dumb stuff. I am not immune.
There is an oil change place right on the corner of my block. I am about 6 months and 4,000 miles over due for one. Driving in complete denial is fun. First, you have to scrape that sticker they put in the corner of your window off. I can still see the outline when the sun comes directly threw the wind shirld of the damn thing. I feel guilty about it so what I do is give my car the "good" gas. You know, 91% Octane instead of the usual 87%. Somehow in my mind, that makes up for the lack of actual care.
It's the emotional equivalent of my father not being able to give me love so instead he let me eat all the cereal I could on weekends.
"Do you want more frosted Flakes, son?"
"How about a hug?"
"...We have some captain crunch around here too."

I know I have mentioned this before, those Diamond shaped yellow signs that just have a deer on them always make me laugh. There is the deer and then under it it says, for the next 12 miles.
I laugh because in my head its saying, for the next 12 miles, shots of Jagermister are permitted.
Then there are the signs that got put up in places of business because problems kept happening.
At a Quiznos, I noticed a sign by the register that simply said; how to order.
Was that a big problem for people? Were they walking up to the register.
"can I help you sir?"
"AAAAHHHH."
"Do you need help ordering sir?"
"DAAAHHH"
"hey, you guys in back. Get on web M.D. and see what wrong with this guy or make me a sign on how to order!"
Have people become so dumb they can't order from a sandwich shop menu?

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