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Friday, October 24, 2008

The Best Phrase In Human History!

I have invented one of the most useful sayings ever. Perhaps one of the greatest phrases ever. It is endlessly helpful in a variety of social situations. It can be utilized as an out. It can be feigned as a human busy signal. It can calm an argument and prevent misunderstandings. In other words, it is a magical spell!

This is the phrase: "I know you are talking but I can not understand the words."

Try it the next time someone is talking to you from another room. It comes in handy when a person insists on starting a conversation when one of you goes to the bathroom. You know when you just hear the unmistakable sound of language but the words are muffled?
"I know you are talking but I can not understand the words."
Say it loudly in a clear flat tone. You will hear sudden silence and then a loud, "OK!"
End of problem.
It may seem like a simple magic incantation to stop the buzz of conversation that you will not know a thing about when asked, but it is more. It is a peace maker.
Hostage demands?
"I know you are talking but I can not understand the words."
Terrorist threats?
"I know you are talking but I can not understand the words."
Holidays with the family sitting around the table talking politics?
"I know you are talking but I can not understand the words."
If ever there was a first message to broadcast to an incoming alien transmission, this would be it. After they translate it they would think, what a smart race! What a perfect thing to say!
Anyway, it is a very useful phrase. Try it.

1 comment:

the fifth window said...

Or you could try what my ex-husband* did, which was to repeat the sounds he heard when I'd say something with my head turned or otherwise wasn't loud or clear enough, such as, "Mmmumba dooty maw?" Which would make me laugh.

It helps when both parties have a healthy self of humor.

etherCANJATOOMEBAHnautrix


*He says, "Aw, you should just say 'my very good friend.'" He's probably right.