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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Stuff on my Mind-

I had to get up early this morning for a radio call in. It was to promote the Obama-Ha-Ha tour I am a part of this week. I was bleary eyed, delusional from lack of sleep and kept hearing voices on the radio say my name and laugh. I have to think this is how Bush felt everyday in the White House.

How does Ann Coulter get on TV to promote her books anymore? In her latest book she attributes much of our nations problems to single Mothers. According to her, single mothers’ raise rapists, burglars and dropouts.
You can also add first black president to the list now too, bitch.

In the past three months ten people I have known directly or indirectly have passed away. People seem to take comfort in repeating the old phrase “God has a plan.”
Really?
Of all the options, God is real but doesn’t care.
God is not real and it is a waste of time to appeal to it.
God is dead.
The whole, God has a plan thing makes me the most angry. If this is how things are suppose to be going then I think it’s a shitty plan. In my own personal life experience this tells me one thing about “God.”
He must have an M.B.A. and work for F.E.M.A.

This weekend I taped a local TV show, completed voice over work on a cartoon for an independent producer, performed at a sober show, opened for Norm McDonald and signed a woman’s cleavage. Half way through she asked me, “is this your first breast?”
These are the moments that make me think, I can see how celebrities go crazy on the drug that is fame!
At this point in my career, I can only get fame cut with a lot of debt, mixed in day job and anxiety.
Man I want the good stuff!

Note to high seas Pirates: Before taking a ship hostage and collecting a three million dollar ransom, learn to swim!

2 comments:

rubel said...

either that or at least make some room in the budget for some life vests.

Dean said...

Note to self: If you get to Joe's level or above in comedy, always carry a Sharpie for those boobie signings.