Thursday, March 12, 2009

Odds & Ends

A chimpanzee living in a zoo in Sweden has demonstrated the ability to plan ahead. In a calm and deliberate manner he collects small rocks to throw at human visitors later.

Scientists are amazed at this behavior and want to study it more. I think they’re missing the bigger point of the story. The message from one species to ours seems pretty clear-fuck off and let me out!

Makes you wonder what those singing whales are saying about us.

To prove I am an equal opportunity pointer outer of all things silly and or ironic, check this story out. Hillary Clinton visited Russia as the new Secretary of State recently. She brought with her a fake red button with the word “reset” written in Russian on it. The idea was to restart the diplomatic relationship between Russia and us. Not a bad idea. One little problem though, the word written on the button wasn’t reset.

It was overload.


Should have just gone with the easy button from those Staples commercials.

Besides, do we really want to give any country with nuclear missiles still in the silo’s any incentive to go near red buttons?

Cable news, left or right, is pretty much all spin and all commentary all the time. What they all have in common though is the crawl. You know, that space at the bottom of the screen where the real news seems to show up. I have seen professional newscasters explaining the latest melt down of a pop start while just bellow their big smiling heads are stories that seem much more important.

Million-dollar idea: All TV shows should have a news crawl at the bottom. The more important the news the more trivial the show we’ll put it on!

New Disease Found in Africa!

Put it on American Idol.

Russia Tries to Stop Accidental Nuclear Launch but Hits Incorrectly Marked Button!

Put it on The Real House Wife’s of Orange County.

Natalie Portman and Scarlet Johansen Move In Together as Lovers!

That will be on CNN like usual.

I think this can also be a way for the dying industry of newspapers to stay in the game. They can partner up with Hallmark cards. Most of the card can be whatever message there is and then at the bottom of the page could be a headline from the day’s events. Maybe even something related to the event.

A Mother and Father give their son a card upon graduating from high school. Congratulations on your achievement! We’re proud of you! Then, at the bottom could be the headline. Study Concludes Fewer Kids Getting Into College.

You get the idea.

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