Thursday, September 08, 2011

Good Luck, America! Part 1: The Republican Debates

I just watched the Republican debates. My favorite part was when Rick Perry was asked about Global Warming. He said that all the science on global warming "...wasn't in yet..." and then noted that "Galileo got out voted for a spell too..." Really? You're using Galileo as your example of waiting for all the facts to come in? You mean the guy who figured out the Earth actually went around the Sun and the Catholic Church called a heretic placing him under house arrest till the day he died? That Galileo? You mean the guy the Catholic church apologized to 400 years later because they were wrong? You can't use one of the best examples of someone being punishing for science when you are the one against science. Then again Texas leads the nation in the high school drop out rate at 25%. It's not like education is very important to Rick Perry. In fact, denying the science behind his states record drought and wild fire season is only the start. He cut funding for rural fire fighters, where most of the wild fires originate from, and asked the people of his state to pray for rain.

If that "spell" Rick Perry is talking about is a 400 year long wait before all the facts are in then it's safe to say Texas isn't going to make it. Good luck, America. This is the Republican front runner.

Why are Christians falling all over themselves to claim God is punishing parts of the country with Hurricanes and earthquakes? The state of Texas is on fucking fire! What is God telling them?

At one point in the debate, all the Republicans agreed that what is killing the economy right now is Obamacare. That is hilarious to me! Most of the provisions of "Obamacare" won't take affect until 2014. The parts of the plan that are working now make it a law that HMO's have to spend 85% of every dollar collected on health care. That, and a kid can stay on his parents plan till he is 26 and HMO's can't denny health coverage to children with pre-existing conditions. If this is what is killing the economy then by all means, lets start killing these kids and letting CEO's of HMO's spend money on private jets till all thats left for ICU's are IOU's.

Over and over almost everyone of these followers of Jesus claimed that government and its regulations are what is in the way of people getting quality health care. They would prefer "market based solutions" for dealing with health care.

Market based solutions is a wonderful little term. Instead of the government testing products for safety or making sure a product does what it says, the market can dictate which business makes it and which business goes bankrupt because consumers won't buy an inferior product when they can get something better from a competitor. Maybe, but before people realize a company is selling bad spinach or a car is dangerous, they have to die. A whole lot of people have to die before the market catches on. Does anyone really think market based solutions is the most humane way to help sick people? The best example of what can go wrong when there is zero regulation is THE ECONOMY! You remember that one, right? The banks, investment houses and credit rating companies said they can watch over themselves. After all, if a company screwed up the market would provide a solution. Actually the market collapsed along with billions in pensions and 401k's. Never fear, the American tax payer bailed out the banks. Its funny because when we give government money to struggling people the rich scream socialism but when we do it with companies we say, they were too big to fail.

When it comes to health care, this so called Christian nation is decidedly anti-christian in its approach to helping sick people. And what's with the screaming about socialism? Jesus healed the sick and poor for free. Jesus got mad at money changers in the temple. Jesus said a rich man has as much chance getting in to heaven as a camel does getting through the eye of a needle.

Jesus WAS socialized medicine, America!

I guess in their minds Jesus wasn't put to death. It was simply a market correction by the Roman authorities who were too big to fail.

Never mind, America. Go back to the Jersey Shore.

Last week Mitt Rommney unveiled his economic plan. Its a 150 page booklet you can download from Amazon Kindle. In talking about it he said, "I don't know if it's free or not..." Your campaign manager must of shit hearing that. You're telling the American people you don't know what your plan will cost them? Literally!

I think I finally figured out the Republican plan. Since they are obsessed with security they are going to allow the country to fall into bankruptcy and refuse to fix our crumbling infrastructure so if the terrorists ever return to America they will look around and think someone else already set a bomb off here!

We are spending two billion dollars a week to be in Afghanistan.

If we aren't going to spend money here to educate the next generation to find better solutions that we tried and we aren't going to rebuild the crumbling bridges, roads and tunnels then what are we actually protecting America from?

First of all, Obama has turned out to be a disappointment to everyone who put him into office. So when I start bashing the Republicans who are largely to blame for why we are in the mess we are in right now, please don't fire back that its Obama's fault. The Republicans were wrong about EVERYTHING they said for eight years, folks.

When Bush was handed a CIA memo titled, Bin Laden determined to strike in America, he stayed on vacation. Wrong.

When we were attacked on 9/11 he attacked Iraq. Wrong.

He said they had weapons of mass destruction. Wrong.

They told us the banks needed further deregulation to get people into their own homes. Wrong.

They told us New Orleans had nothing to fear. Wrong.

They told us lowering taxes on the wealthy, something never done in 2,000 years of recorded history during a war, wouldn't hurt the economy. Wrong.

They told us raising taxes on the rich hurts their ability as job creators. Bush lost jobs at a historic rate while the rich were taxed at historically low rates. Wrong.

Blaming Obama for this economic mess was like Bush blaming Iraq for 9/11. Wrong.

You can blame Obama for being a pussy. You can blame Obama for caving in over and over again. You can blame Obama for a lot of things but it seems the biggest problem most conservative minded people have with Obama is Obama is the president.

What is their plan to get rid of him? The Republican tea party plan is to keep things shitty in America so people blame Obama and vote him out. You think I'm kidding? Check this out. The Republican tea party idiots allowed the credit of America to be downgraded by not agreeing to raise the debt limit.

You heard a lot of people screaming about balancing the budget and we have to learn to live within our means during this disaster, right? They are all idiots. The budget is how we agree to spend money in the future. The debt limit is about continuing to pay interest on money we already borrowed. What was that money spent on? It was spent by the Republicans for wars that weren't paid for. While every one of the wannabe Republican president hopefuls demanded the president do a better job to fix the economy, no one seems to remember its a direct result of the Republicans doing exactly what they wanted for eight years. Getting our credit downgraded by refusing to pay for wars you demanded we have is not a solution to fixing the mess. However, it is a great recipe for getting Obama out of the White House.

Do you see their strategy? They gave a black man in public housing bad credit. Its what rich white people love doing only this time its the president and the house isn't the White House, it's America.

Its like they bought the biggest most expensive flat screen 3D wifi ready plasma TV and after making payments for eight years suddenly decided that the best way to get out of this economic mess is to fuck up our credit by not paying for it anymore! This is Obamas fault?

Like I said, Blaming Obama for this economic mess was like Bush blaming Iraq for 9/11. Wrong.

Mitt Rommney, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry are the leading contenders for the Republican ticket. The fact that two out of three of them claim God told them to run for president should be a red flag. If you believe an all powerful being registers disapproval with homosexuals wanting marriage by shaking the earth but then takes time out of ruling the universe to say I want you to be the leader of one nation on one planet in one galaxy, you should automatically be disqualified for the office. Besides, if God really talked to Michele Bachmann I think the first thing he would say is, you know your husband is gay, right?


Dean said...

Ahh, Joe... saving the best punch line for last...

joe klocek said...

Of course!