Friday, March 07, 2008


This is what it has come too?
Our modern society is turning into a bad comedy sketch. In London, people who have been walking and texting at the same time have walked into so many lamp posts that a phone directory service much like our 411 have decided to take action.
They are experimenting with padded lampposts.
Yeah. You read correctly.
Padded lamp posts for people trying to find the right emo-con but instead hit their heads on a post.
A study conducted by the phone directory service, found that one in 10 people has been hurt while focusing on their cell phone instead of where they were walking.
The survey found that almost two thirds of respondents lost peripheral vision while texting, and more than a quarter wanted lines on the pavement to create routes for texters to walk while using their phones.
Lines on the pavement? Like were trying to find the gift shop in a hospital?
If I am texting and walking down the street but not on a blue line, will I get a ticket for texting in the wrong lane? How ridiculous are we going to become? All this communication technology available to us and no one seems any more "available" than before we had all this.

The directory service will provide the padding and allow companies to advertise on them.
That's great marketing. Do you really want people to run into a post, look up and associate your product with an embarrassing moment in public? Aspirin might be the best product to run adds for. Or insurance.
How about this; Hey moron, put the stupid phone down and actually communicate with the people around you!
I speak to people less. When my phone buzzes, it's usually a text message. E-mail is easier to send because why not send something passive aggressive that I don't have to be there for to see your reaction. The other day I got a letter. An actual hand written stamp on the envelope letter. My room mates stood around looking at it in awe like the Nazi's stared at the ark at the end of Indiana Jones. This ended better of course. Still, I told them to keep their eyes closed no matter what.

There is a new product for older people who don't want the hassle of "buying an expensive and hard to learn computer." They hook this thing up to their phone and now any e-mail or text their grand kid's send, gets printed out on a large easy to read piece of paper.
We have come full circle.
Still, it better come with an up to date dictionary of terms. What is grandma and grandpa going to make of the letters OMG! printed out in giant letters?

All this technology and the only thing we seem able to do is keep each other at a distance. I am waiting for the day when you can beam a copy of yourself with all your memories and knowledge over to a persons, Communication Room. Something like a digital clone that lives for you in the vast Internet ocean of non-Einstein physics and instant gratification. The Matrix isn't all that far away. Can you see it? I can. At a certain age, you lay down in a sensory deprivation chamber. You are hooked up to the outside world and interact with anyone on the planet in anyway you can imagine. Avatars roaming the uncharted digital universe where anything is possible and everyone is anonymous. Only the poor will walk with actual legs in the actual reality. The rich and famous will live in a new world built exclusively for their whims. People will take vacations entrusting their bodies to technicians for a week as they fly around the fantasy land we are headed for, their bodies nourished intravenously. Maybe even throw some drugs into the mix and you have a future that no longer reaches out to explore the solar system and beyond, but one of intense navel gazing where growing up never has to happen. All you will need is money. That part never seems to change.

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