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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Proof in the Existence of God!

On This day in 1997, something happened that perfectly puts into place everything I find truly strange and fascinating about religion.

The Jerusalem Post reports that high rabbinical sources have confirmed the birth of a rare red heifer named Melody in a kibbutz near Haifa. The ashes from such a beast will be needed to ceremonially purify any Jews before they would be permitted to enter the former site of Solomon's Temple in Jerusalem. At present, the land is occupied by the Dome of the Rock mosque, which is located on the spot where Muslims believe that Mohammed rode his horse into Heaven. The Jewish people wish to reconstruct the Hebrew temple, but this would necessitate tearing down the mosque, virtually guaranteeing outright war between Israel and the Arab world. Even more ominous, the construction project is a necessary prerequisite for the second coming of Christ, which itself involves all the End Times stuff in the book of Revelation. Melody is the first red heifer in 2,000 years, and quite possibly the last.

So there you go. In a nut shell, all three of the worlds major religions are tied to this one spot of land. By the way, there are not three different God's either. God is the same God for the Jews, Muslims and Christians. The Virgin Marry is mentioned more in the Koran than in the Bible. Muslims, like the Jews, believe that Jesus was a great profit, not God's son. Most of the Christian old testament is the Hebrew Torah. It is only the interpretation of God's words that everyone seems to be arguing about. That, and this tiny spot of land where each religion holds some supernatural claim.

To me, this is iron clad proof in the existence of a God. What a wonderful and elaborate practical joke God has played on humanity. Hey, if he/she/it made us in it's image, think about how strange, mixed up and truly odd we can be. God must also hold all these qualities too. Maybe this is the real test. When you die, it would be like walking into a surprise birthday party. You come through the pearly gates and Buddha jumps out. "Surprise!"
Who Knows?

Maybe, after God gets bored with this joke, he will one up it. The world will wake up one day and where the Dome of the Rock is and the walling wall now sits, there will be nothing but a giant hole. Imagine how everyone would react to that? A perfectly round extremely deep hole. What would the three religions make of this? Undoubtedly they would all blame each other for what would be best described as a miracle. Soundlessly, in a second, this disputed area no bigger than the average shopping mall would disappear. I bet people would start to throw themselves in it. I bet that after a few hundred do this, someone would have to put up a fence around it. Then, we could charge the people who think throwing themselves into this pit would get them closer to whatever vision of God they hold dear. We could take that money and use it to improve the quality of life in the Mid-East. Eventually, all the true believers will have jumped into the hole. That's the moment that Jesus and Mohammad, together on a horse, would drop down from the sky and to a stunned audience watching on TV's around the world, they would say in every language simultaneously, "Alright! Now that those sticks in the mud are gone, let's get down to business! What part of Love didn't you understand?"


3 comments:

Elise said...

Wow, if we're made in God's image, God might be a weird as we are! I'll have to think about that one.

BTW, fan mail likey likey stuff? That was me! Prolly can't make a show in SF, but if you play anywhere in the south bay or Santa Cruz, I'm there.

Dean said...

You know, in Japan, where land isn't usually disputed, just expensive as hell, they build straight up. Technically, everything would be in the same spot:

1st Floor - Dome of the Rock mosque
2nd Floor - Temple of Solomon
3rd Floor - Long's Drugs

Everyone's a winner!

Joe said...

dean,
Great idea!