Thursday, April 10, 2008

For Sale- North American Country

I think the only reason Bush has halted the pull out of U.S. troops from Iraq is because they were all coming home on American Airlines.
Who the hell really cares about a plastic torch being paraded around the town? You don't like China's politics? Don't shop at Walmart morons. That will hurt them far more than screwing up traffic on the first nice weather day we have had in a while. Hey, I am a liberal and I have attended protests. But I gotta tell you, if you lay down in the road to make your point, you have just become a speed bump on my way to the beach.
American Airlines cancels 1,000 flights and everyone is going ape shit! Call me crazy, but don't you kinda wanna know if the big metal bird you will be traveling 30,000 feet above the ground in is in good condition? Here's a headline for the Onion; Al Queda Takes Over FAA!
Whose a bigger threat to air safety now? Terrorists, or the people whose job it is to inspect airplanes for problems? I say keep the planes on the ground for everyone who wants to be sure their ride is safe. For those who want to go, charge a reduced let's see what the fuck happens rate. They have to sign a waiver of course, but for those type A's who just have to get there, let them at it! For $100 I might land in Cancun for a week of drunken debauchery. Or, I just might crash into the Pacific Ocean. Now that's adding some excitement to a vacation! Hell, lets put the damn Olympic torch on board and take bet's if it makes it to China or not. We can donate any money made to Tibet.
Almost everyday I have seen protesters march past my window on the way to the Chinese Embassy on Geary Street. I am all for it! But you have to wonder, does it have any effect on the Chinese government? I mean, is there a nervous bureaucrat on the phone with someone in China? "OK. They are rounding the corner now and, wait, wait, I can't see what the banner says. Oh, it's free Tibet! Tell them that the people over here are against what were doing in Tibet. OK?. Is anyone marching past the Iraq Embassy? I'll ask. Oh wait. There is no Iraq embassy on American soil! What's that? Anyone who answers, I like to wager a little bit now and then when they hear the phrase, Free Tibet, is incredibly lame. Alright. I will let them know. Talk to you later."
China is the world's leader in making and exporting American flags. Just a little fact that should give you pause when you drape on across the hood of your pick up all you Toby Keith Patriots.
Here's another little fact that pokes a great big hole in the, were number one! sort of thinking.
That's the rank of the U.S. in infant mortality rates around the world.
Oh, and the Taco Bell's that operate in Mexico ( I know! There is shitty fast Mexican food in Mexico? They just call it fast food though) 100% of the Taco shells they use are important from the U.S.
How about all that? China makes and sells our flag better and cheaper than we do. It's almost to great of an ironic metaphor to explain the economic situation were in at the moment! We have cornered the market in Taco Shells south of the border and places I have never thought to look at on a map have a better infant mortality rate than we do.
Meanwhile, capitalism marches on.
Night-vision goggles, armor vests, F-14 fighter components that could only be used by Iran -- these and other sensitive military items, some stolen from the U.S. military, have been
purchased by undercover government officials . . . on Craigslist and eBay, according to the government accountability office.
I can see the listing for America on Craigslist now.
For Sale- North American Country.
Slightly used. Runs OK. $20 Trillion Dollars or best offer.
America; land of the free, home of the brave, worlds largest exporter of Taco Shells, Military hardware and jobs.
It doesn't have as much freedom as it use to, but the Constitution has had a lot of custom work done to it over the last eight years.
Serious inquires only! Please contact China. They have the pink slip.

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