Monday, April 14, 2008

Dear Hybrid Drivers

Dear Hybrid Drivers,
I know you are better than me, but until we all have crystals hanging from our recycled rear view mirrors to pick up your intentions through the universe, please continue to use the environmentally friendly turn signal to not pollute my Karma. How can we all get along when most of you seem to think that merging is a spiritual process rather than one that requires letting other drivers know what is about to happen at the off ramp? I know, live in the now! Merging is not your right or something that should just happen peacefully. Most of you believe in Darwin, well merging is survival of the fastest. Yeah. It's not fair and not right, but until we can all afford to drive a hybrid that comes equipped with a sense of superiority, please cut the rest of liberals stuck in run down old cars a little slack and follow the same rules. Please? Besides, the rubber in your tires, the plastic light's, most of the cars interior is all fashioned from plastic. Plastic; a petroleum based product if I am not mistaking. I know, you should have your own parking spaces because you care more than I do. Hey, you don't think I wouldn't like a shiny brand new I am better than you on four wheels mobile? Hell Yeah I would! The one thing my car has going for it is it's free anti-theft capabilities. What a club does for $20.00, three hub caps and month old bird shit does for free. I leave some 8-tracks out on the passenger seat and no one touches it.
I see the looks when I pass you. The condescending, how can you drive that Dinosaur, looks. Maybe I am on my way to a tree sit in. Maybe I am rushing to the recyclers before they close with post consumer waste I have been mulching in the back seat for six months. Maybe I am tired of going 60MPH in the second lane from the right wondering why your break lights come on mysteriously for no apparent reason.
I care about the planet. I won't get negative. I prefer to see your car as half full. Half full of gas just like mine is most of the time.

1 comment:

Dean said...

Environmentalists still drive to work and I'm a Buddhist who loves BBQ... everybody just needs to become comfortable with their level of hypocrisy.