Tuesday, June 03, 2008

New World Order?

"They're not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who is a friend of mine. And then all of this earthquake and all this happened and I thought, is that karma? When you're not nice, that bad things happen to you?"
-Sharon Stone to reporter's on the Red Carpet at the Cannes film festival.

Taking pleasure in the death and destruction of millions of people's homes is bad Karma. It's the same as Christians thinking Hurricane Katrina was sent to New Orleans as some instrument of punishment against Gay People.
But more importantly, Sharon Stone is friends with the Dalai Lama?
You have to wonder what bad Karma he pick up for having to hang out with Sharon Stone and listen to her thoughts on philosophy in that dim witted cheerleader accent no 50 year old woman should still have.
That's how the universe works? China is being mean to one dude so the universe decided to kill thousands and render millions homeless for the policies of their government? I don't think that's how it works. Course, I'm not a friend of the Dalia Lama. I could be wrong.

Obama is all but assured the democratic nomination and it seems as though Clinton is going to come aboard as the V.P. now. Damn! Dear John McCain, you just lost by a landslide. Who will be voting for him? Old White Guys who are afraid Obama/Clinton will appoint a Hispanic lesbian to the Supreme court? I say Ellen DeGeneres for Secretary of Defense, Oprah for UN ambassador and over at the department of justice Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears. Allow me to explain America.
If we put Ellen in charge of the military, I think other countries would think twice about doing anything to us. All those Vibrator shaped missiles just waiting for launching! Also, if we loose a war, great. We can go to the UN and say, Good for you. You beat a lesbian. No one wants to be beat by a lesbian. That is called deterrence gentleman!
Oprha at the UN? Yes! She could get things done with her fame, charm and cash. Imagine how much better things would go for us if she could get up at general assemblies and say, "everyone who signs this treaty today will get a special present. Just look under your seat now!"
Alright, why would I hand the department of Justice over to three of Americas glossiest whores?
A few reasons. 1, you know they all need regular jobs. 2, it would be like having Charlies Angles in charge and 3, The Bush people got away with a lot of shit because no one pays attention to the boring old department of Justice. Well, we know cameras follow these three every where. Put them some place important, let the cameras run and no more secrets going on. Besides, for their own sakes, don't you think we should monitor them in a place where there are lawyers and handcuffs near by 24/7?

You really have to put this in perspective. If the Obama/Clinton ticket wins it demonstrates just how awful Bush was. 200 years and 43 White Male Presidents. That is a very impressive record. Well, Bush was so bad that a majority of America said, fuck that! The only thing I would worry about is Clinton. Dear Obama, never let her bring you coffee. The words, a heart beat away from the office of the President will ring in her head every night when she hits the pillow next to first Husband, Bill.

1 comment:

Dean said...

You're right! Who needs a congressional oversight committee when you got paparazzi? Brilliant idea!